1. What I just finished reading?

The Light Between the Oceans by M.L Steadman - this is a popular novel for book clubs. I read it for one, and must admit if it hadn't been for the book club, I'd have given up half-way through.
It is beautifully written, however. Poetic prose. But the characters I felt were a bit two dimensional and not quite fully developed, more serving the plot and theme of the piece than the other way around. In particular, the Lighthouse Keeper's Wife, the character of Isabel, bothered me.
But that may just be because the writer chose to put us in her point of view sparingly. On the surface she is developed, or has a lot happen to her that causes a mental break. But, if just didn't work for me - it felt manipulative and I was frustrated.

At any rate, I loved the ending, and gave it four stars on Good Reads, because it is well written and well, I'm conflicted over my quibbles.

2. What I'm reading now?

Despite my better judgement, I have fallen down the X-men comic book rabbit hole. After close to 10 years, not looking at a comic book, not to mention getting rid of the bulk of my collection, I went on a mad buying spree. Purchasing basically a comic book arc that starts with a character, who is an upstanding hero, who has repeatedly sacrificed himself for his cause, who is happily married to the love of his life, has devoted friends and family -- and ends with him being a hunted fugitive, who is hated by practically everyone, and lost everyone he loved.

He goes from being the hero, a sort of pseudo Superman or Classic hero type to a dark vigilante, revolutionary. It's a bit like Magneto's arc but oh so much better written. Also, this was a guy who fought Magneto as a teen and has sort of become him. The irony!! And the way they are writing it -- you find yourself rooting for him, and thinking, you know, this isn't quite as simple as I'd thought.
While Magneto's arc was written as pretty black and white, Cyclops' arc is rather gray. Best arc that I've read of a hero going dark in a comic book series or any series for that matter.

But it's actually more complicated than that -- I've grossly oversimplified it. It discusses various themes, and political philosophies...what it means to uphold human rights? what are we willing to do to fight for them? can violence solve problems? what are the consequences of training children as warriors, inducting them to a world of violence? what changes a person? can we change? should we punish people with violence? Does that solve the problem? Do we just kill the threat? How does privilege play a role? How do looks or attractiveness play a role?

And how does a good man, who once believed that the way to fight for the rights of his people and for peace, was to do good deeds, save lives, and promote awareness, decide to become a revolutionary, a potential terrorist, and an isolationist - basically fuck the world, we take care of our own?


The arc starts with Cyclops sacrificing himself for his son, to Apocalypse, an ageless and somewhat immortal mutant called En Sabar, who disrupts societies, and causes war - along with his five horsemen of the Apocalypse. (He's turned both Angel and Wolverine into the Horsemen of Death at various points and has been at war with Cyclops -- his goal to use Cyclops Son as a new body for his aging one.) He merges with him for a bit. They rescue him. But he is forever changed. Prior to that - you probably should read the part before he sacrifices himself (which I did, so no problem - I read it in the 1980s-2002, I just missed this arc.) This story in rich in metaphorical goodness. A man who fought against war, who believed that there was always a better way, and mutants should not go to war with humans -- is taken over by a mutant who embodies it. Who believes in war, in power, in destruction. He's complete opposite. A man who questions everything, and is constantly struggling to control his power and fears hurting anyone with it, who is empathetic merges, albeit briefly with a man who is all ego, has no empathy, and is confident in his power and ability to wield it.

The changes in Cyclops personality are subtle at first. He shuts his friends and wife out, letting darker, more conflicted people in like Emma Frost and Wolverine. Xorn, who turns out to be another Magneto imposter. When his wife dies, he takes up with Emma, and starts the Astonishing X-men (this is Joss Whedon's run on the series), and becomes a bad-ass leader, discovering he can control his optic blasts. And he starts the group to help others, to show the world that mutants do good deeds. He's trying. But...along the way, Scarlet Witch's reality bending powers go out of control, and she manages, in a rage, to do away with most of the mutants on the planet, either shutting off their powers or their potential for being born. This makes him edgy. And then, he discovers the man he admired, who was a father to him, Professor Xavier, has betrayed him and done something horrible - that directly affects him and his family. He finds a little girl who may give mutants back there powers, who may make it possible for mutants to be born, so his people aren't extinct. But he has to give her away to his son, who takes her into the future, to preserve her life. Their current home, Professor Xavier's Mansion, is destroyed. He gives up on the X-men. Then, he manages to save a bunch of people in San Francisco, and gets an award, and is given property to convert and turn into a safe haven for the remaining mutants on the planet - which he calls utopia. To ensure everyone's safety, he creates security forces, and covert operations, and manipulates people. He also trains children to fight wars - as he was taught to do, as a teen. He begins to see the world in factions us vs. them.
When Hope returns, he tracks her down...and fervently believes she will the change the world, that she will make it possible for mutants to be reborn, and others to regain their powers. But not everyone agrees, a lot of people believe the risk is to great - that force of energy that Hope needs to house in order to make this possible - could drive her insane and cause her to destroy the world, she hopes to save. But Cyclops believes in her. They split into factions. The Avengers on one side, the X-men on the other. Some X-men, such as Wolverine, defecting to the Avengers. Iron Man decides to disrupt the energy and disperse it - so it isn't contained in one person. So it ends up in five. The Phoenix Five. These people go around eradicating hunger, thirst, disease, suffering around the world.
But their humanity starts to corrupt the power, they want more. And they stop feeling empathy. The force of the universe is tainted by their egos and hubris. Yet, it is kept largely in check, until the Avengers pop up and challenge them, telling them they shouldn't have this power, shouldn't do these things. Cyclops then decides - no more Avengers. And he begins to go a bit nuts, the power starts to corrupt him -- but it happens due to adversity, due to the other team offering violence and opposition. Cyclops eventually faces off with Professor Xavier, who he ends up killing during their fight. The rage and pain at causing his father's death - results in Cyclops losing his mind and becoming Dark Phoenix, the power consumes him. He can't fight it. Eventually the Avengers manage with Hope's help to rip he energy from Cyclops and put it back into Hope where it belongs.

Now Cyclops is hated by everyone and put in prison as an enemy of the state and murderer. He has a bit of a death wish. Wolverine tries to council him to do the right thing, to be the man he once was - the man who taught Wolverine how to be a better man. Cyclops chooses, after watching a mutant killed in prison, to be rescued by Magneto, and joins Magneto, Magik, and Emma Frost in creating a new team of X-men, a group invested in protecting mutants from humans. Doing what is necessary to keep them safe. He doesn't trust the Avengers - human/mutant team to accomplish this. Cyclops calls it the mutant revolution. And to his former friends and colleagues the X-men, it looks a lot like Magneto's Brotherhood or his dictate. Except it's not clear that Magneto agrees with the rhetoric any longer - and keeps counseling Cyclops against going down that road.

Upset by this, Cyclops former friend, Hank McCoy, goes back in time and brings younger versions of himself, Cyclops, Jean, Iceman and Angel - basically Cyclops younger self, his best friends, and the love of his life forward to get Cyclops to see the error of his ways. It does not work.

What does work -- finally, is a failed attempt to save a powerful mutant. Who kills without thought.
And how Charles Xavier, the good Professor, once again with the best of intentions caused it to happen. Charles legacy to leave everything to Cyclops -- along with Wolverine's death, not at Cyclops hands, forces Cyclops to decide to leave -- and re-examine his life and who he is. At the end of the arc, he tells his former friends and family, I know you all hate me, but as much as you hate me, I really love and care about you -- so I'm transferring the estate to Storm, along with leadership of the X-men. You don't have to leave -- I am. His brother, Havoc who is an Avenger, finds him packing and he tells Havoc that he's going to the right thing, to turn himself in and to hopefully do what Logan, Wolverine would have wanted. That his revolution is at its end.


I haven't read it all yet or in detail. Apparently there's a lot of subplots. And about 1000 characters. This is an epic story in line with George RR Martin's Game of Thrones, except with more likable characters, and ahem, less gore. It also ends happier. But that's the gist of the arc. We basically take a character who fought against revolutionaries, extremists, and power hungry villains -- or due to a series of set-backs and losses, becomes one himself, and then has to somehow live with the consequences and find a way out of it. It's a bit similar to Magneto's arc, but far more satisfying, with less retcons and missteps. Also the character is a bit more conflicted.

I think what intrigues me is how ego can pull us away from who we are. And we can get lost in it. I don't know, but I got obsessed enough that I felt the need to grab all the issues that related directly to the arc. Which...is a lot and I do mean a lot of issues. But oh well. If you have done anything similar, perhaps you can relate? Or if you've ever gotten really obsessed with a story or cultural medium? (ie. FANNISH.)

The X-men was my first long-term fannish obsession. Although, I never really interacted with the fandom. Is there one? Is it worth interacting? Hmmm...

Any fans of the X-men reading this? Or I am basically talking to myself?

Speaking of cultural obsessions, people are weirdly judgmental of them. I always kept this one hidden as a result of that. I was always fearful of the judgment. The writer of Patagonia Express, and various travelogues, whose name I've forgotten at the moment, called comic books pedesterian. Lower intellect. He was at the time ranting about the Asian fascination with comics. (Clearly the man has never read one, because they aren't that at all.) For those who do think highly of comics, they can be snobby about it themselves - superhero comics or serials are basically laughed at or scorned in much the same way that Daytime Soaps are. (Although less so now, with the heavy investment that Hollywood has placed on the superhero franchise, and how much money the films have been raking in. "X-Men Days of Future Past" did quite well.)

And in college, I remember showing my collection to a friend, who told me that I shouldn't hide this part of myself. I shouldn't be afraid of sharing it. The fact that I loved them was sort of cool. It took me by surprise. (I've always been a bit embarrassed. It's a shame, I think, to be embarrassed over loving something. That's the ego talking. The ego cares what the world thinks far more than it should.)

This past week I've been beating myself up over buying the shitload of books that I did online. (By the way, they are actually cheaper electronically than they were in paperback. Which makes sense. $1.99 per issue as opposed to $3-5 per issue. And the collections are about $6.99-19.99. So I got a lot of bang for my buck.). And here's the thing about comics? Unlike books, they can be read multiple ways on the ipad. You can do close-ups, some become animated, you can read the dialogue, or just look at the pictures, you can skip sections, you can read the dialogue and look at the pictures. It's like reading a three dimensional story. You have dialogue, and pictures. I happen to love dialogue - adore it. And I think visually, and am very visually minded - so adore the art.

When I discovered comics in the 1980s, I went nuts. Here was something that combined my two favorite things art and dialogue. And I prefer art with people and animals in it. And the X-men was the triple threat - it was about a group of outsiders, people who were bullied and scorned and shamed for being different, who did not fit in, but had superpowers. And how they chose to deal with these insane powers. Plus peopled with a diverse and conflicted group of characters. Who changed depending on who drew them.

At 48, I apparently still love them. Always was a bit embarrassed when folks said they read them as kids. Or that they loved them as teens. I fell in love at 18. A friend in college had a box of them in her closet and we'd sit and go through each one, and she'd tell me the whole story. I met her in the lounge one day watching Star Trek re-runs. It was my routine after class, I'd come to the lounge and watch Star Trek reruns with about five-six other people, to relax. (I did not have a tv in my room and this was pre-internet. Actually it was pre-personal computer - most computers were really expensive, so no one owned them. I had a type-writer at that point. It was 1986.)

I don't know why folks say they are for kids. The stories are actually rather complex as are the themes. And they are insanely violent in places, with loads of sexual suggestions, not to mention scantilly clad characters. I personally think they should be for 18 and older. And the adults who write and draw them are clearly doing it for an adult audience. The superhero comic book serial is basically to men, what daytime soap operas/romance novel genre is to women, or so I'm told. But I don't think either can be that neatly defined.

At any rate, I admit, I still love the X-men comics.

My favorite characters? (I actually like all of them, which helped a great deal.)

* Cyclops
* Magneto
* Jean Grey
* Rogue
* Kitty Pryde
* Hank McCoy
* Mystique
* Emma Frost
* Gambit
* Havoc
* Professor Xavier
* Storm
* Forge
* Nathan aka Cable
* Wolverine aka Logan aka James (who unfortunately was overused and I grew tired of eventually, he's the only one who was done to death.)


What I should be reading and am not doing a good job of, and it may hit me in the butt when October 28th rolls along:

Life After Life by Kate Atkinson and The Boys in the Boat - a nonfiction novel.
I'm sure both are really good, but I'm in an odd mood. I want something specific. So am re-reading a Kate Daniels book on the way to work. But, there is hope on the horizon, I'm growing bored of it.
So back to Life After Life tomorrow, I think.

I am not permitted to buy any more books on Amazon or Marvel (Apple Itunes) for the duration. (It's far too easy to do this, just point and click. I feel like a little kid in a candy store, and we've already discussed why I should not be permitted to purchase books online without supervision. Oh well, one of the nice things about being single, is no one cares.)

Off to take a bath, and maybe read more comics. Or just sleep and save them for tomorrow night, while I'm doing laundry.