Spontaneous Musings

Over the last thirty some years, I've spent about 65% of my time job-hunting. More than most, I'm certain - which makes me an expert on the process. I had the misfortune of graduating from college during a recession (guess who was president?), then graduated from law school at the end of one. People in the group before and immediately after me - didn't have this problem. My class? Not so lucky. No one appeared to be hiring.

But this post is not meant to be another long, somewhat whingy, occassionally amusing, ramble about my misadventures in job-hunting and work. It's about what I learned during it.


1. Beware of Job Advice or rather how to handle Job hunting advice.

Odd one, I know. But job advice can screw you up royally - no matter how well intentioned it is. Take all of it with hefty grain of salt and keep in mind what works for your friend, husband, lj correspondent, co-worker, father, brother, etc - may or may not work for you. Most likely? It won't.

When you are looking for a job, expect to get unwanted advice from everyone and their cat (assuming it talks). And expect the advice to be contradictory. For example: One person will tell you that your resume must be printed on stylish paper another will state that you'll be sending it electronically, so don't worry about it. Some think beige, some white. Yes - it get's that detailed. Another? Will tell you to do a portfolio or cv. My advice? Ignore most of this. People will tell you what worked for them. Keep in mind what works for someone else may not work for you - in fact it is more than likely it won't work for you. You aren't them in any way shape or form. So if they give you advice? The more general it is the better. Because let's face it a Webdesigner is completely different profession than say a Paralegal. Plus etiquette has changed over time - thank you notes on stationary, while wonderful - in a world filled with more paper and info than we can manage can be seen by some employers as more of a nuisance. Others - on the other hand may love them. It depends on the employer. There is no RULE.

Also, when receiving advice? Be nice about it. Say thank you. Say you appreciate it. Move on. Realize the person is only trying to help. They want to support you and don't know what else to do. If they could wave a magic wand and give you a job? They would.

One last thing - job advice coming from people who make their living doling it out? Be wary of. While some of them are professional and legitimate instutions. Many are scams. I found this out the hard way. Also career coaches, outplacement counselors, life coachs, marketing firms, etc - can't get you a job. All they can do is show you how to make yourself more appealing to employers. When you hire one of these professionals - you are paying for job hunting/advertising and marketing advice. In short? You are hiring your own personal marketing consultant - who tells you how to market yourself and how to create a marketing/pr campaign for you - and it is usually, depending on the organization, fairly general and not individualized. I've done it - and to be honest? The advice I got from my own friends list was a heck of lot better and far more useful. The pro's aren't out there - they aren't hunting for a job. They don't know what works for you. They know what works "statistically" for the majority of people who take their polls or answer surveys. And what works for those people? May not work for you. Also many of them have out-dated advice, just as the books do.

Having said all that - I'm about to give job-hunting advice. Please keep in mind it worked for me and may not for you, and I don't abide by all of it a lot of the time.


2. Resumes and cv's.

The thing to remember about the resume is that it is supposed to be summary statement of what you can bring to the job you are applying for. (For an example of this - see my memories and Kenshi - who wrote a summary resume and posted on his lj along with notes on how to write it - this resume style really works.) It is also at the same time, a summary statement of your work history, current career goals, and work related accomplishments.
Personal stuff? Best to leave off. No one cares and you can get yourself in trouble - depending on what job you are looking for. Leave that for the interview if it comes up. Best to keep it specific to the job you are applying to.

That said - it is really hard to write a resume specific to each job you are applying to. Also it is more than possible to have a dream job that you aren't qualified for. Someone who has spent their lives as a Network Administrator cannot apply for a Senior Art Director. Don't do it. (And yes I know it sounds silly, but I did do that - I applied for HR Managers with no real experience in HR and Marketing/Advertising/Copywriting jobs...what is amazing is I actually made it to interviews. How? Ah - you can structure a resume in such a way that you can highlight things you've done that fits those fields - just keep in mind, if you don't have direct experience it will come up in the interview and kick you in the rump. Job hunting is not the place to decide to try out all those dream jobs you've read about. Get a job first - and explore those in your spare time by taking classes and doing volunteer work or weekend internships if you are so inclined - if you aren't? You really weren't that interested anyway and now you know without going broke trying to get that job.)

The best resumes are clear and easy to read. Resumes aren't meant to be pretty unless you are applying for a position that asks for that type of skill. They aren't meant to be creative or funny or a work of art. Simple is best. On clean white paper. Black print.
Not too tiny. Bullet points. Action verbs. Clear statements on what you have accomplished.
And if you are applying for a business position in an area that likes numbers - use numbers on the resume. I started using numbers - or what business people like to call quantifiable data and got a ton of interviews that way. Also use recent terminology on the resume. If you don't know it? Take a class. Do some research online. Google it. Become familar with it.


3. Interviews

I hate job interviews. Never been to hell, don't really believe there is one to be honest, but if there is - one level has got to be assigned to job interviews. Granted they can be fun - but only if you don't care. And if you don't care - why would you be there to begin with. (Although I will state I've done a couple in which I didn't care here and there - you reach a point in job-hunting, a point of desperation, where you will basically go on any interview no matter what it is for. Not a good idea by the way - because you risk the possibility of actually getting a job you aren't remotely interested in and don't want - how do you think I ended up at half the jobs I've gotten? Doing exactly that.)

See there's an odd trick to interviewing for a job. The less you care, the more they want you. I have no idea why this is the case. But every job I've gotten in my life or was offered to me - was when I went in with a sort of relaxed, carefree, whatever attitude. When I wanted the job, dreamed about it, was excited, and filled with nervous anticipation? I often did not get it. So the trick? Look relaxed, carefree and easy-going. Laid-back. Take a WTF attitude. Which of course is impossible to do when you do care. Nice catch-22 that.

A few key things to keep in mind about job interviews:

*. Do your research: investigate the company, the organization, the people if possible, the industry, the position you are applying for, and any and all terminology related to it. Often companies will help you with this - by giving clear job descriptions, but not always. If it came to you via a recruiter - some recruiters are good enough to give you all this info if you ask. Some not so much. (More on recruiters later.) Do not, repeat, do not go into a job interview knowing nothing about the company/organization or industry you are interviewing with - it will cost you the job. How to get info? Google, Wikipedia, the library - check out the Business section and ask the reference librarian, Vault.com, Company's web site, Blogs, Jobster, News articles. If you have a computer? You can find info pretty quickly.

*. Know where you are going and exactly how to get there before the day of the interview: My father used to tell me - if at all possible - to go to the interview location the day before, get a lay of the land. It's not most of the time, unfortunately. Today, we have cool tools to use - the best one for anyone living in a city is HopStop.com - it will show you the quickest route via subway, train, bus and walking in any major city around the world. I live by it. Mapquest is also useful but tends to be more directed at people who drive. And if you have a cell phone - you can get the directions sent to your cell - no need to print off.

*. Interview questions: Be honest. Don't lie. They'll either catch you in the interview or they will in the job. Honesty is always the best policy. Never lie to get a job unless you know you can cover yourself. (Kid bro lied about knowing Java, then taught it to himself over a weekend - for example. Me? I would never do that - because I know I can't learn Java that quickly.) For the time honored and somewhat annoying question: "What are your strengths and weaknesses?" The best approach - I've found is to pick three strengths that are also clearly weaknesses and explain why for each. The other methods didn't work as well for me. But be careful - don't state a weakness that no one in their right mind would consider one and don't say you don't have any. The question is a bit of a trap. Be wary of trap questions - they are designed to trip you up.

*. Try to make the interview a conversation. But Don't try to control it. You aren't the one with the power here. Let the interviewer set the tone. And even if you hate the question or hate their style - be polite. This is not the place to be an activist or advocate for your cause. If they do something they shouldn't - deal with it after the interview is over by contacting the better business bureau or the proper authority. Do NOT try to deal with it in the interview - you will lose.

*.Never bring up personal issues in an interview. If you left a prior job because of a serial bully or sexual harrassment - do not mention that in the interview or on the application. Instead say: I left to explore other opportunities. And say nothing else. The less you say the better. If pressed, state, the company was not a good fit and it was time for a change. Do not tell an interviewer that you need to take time off work for health reasons or have huge trip planned in December. Leave that information for after they offer you the job.

The less you say about yourself in an interview, the better. Keep it professional and work related. Focus on your skills and how you can help them. The interview is all about the company - they have a problem and they are looking for a person who can solve it? The only question in their heads is whether or not you are the best candidate to solve that problem. Outside of that? They really don't care about you. If you give them any reason to think that you can't solve that problem, or can solve it but will bring additional problems in your wake - they'll nix you without thinking.

*. What to do when the interview is over? Try to get the person's business card so that you can send them a thank you note. Usually they will offer you one - depending on the industry. Reiterate why you like the job, but don't push it. When you sense it is over, ask what are the next steps? That's when they'll give you a biz card. (I've had one instance in which they refused to give me one - which was odd. And oh, I was offered the job, so it wasn't remotely personal. RULE of THUMB: NEVER EVER TAKE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU DURING A JOB HUNT PERSONALLY! )

You want to get the biz card so you can send a thank you if you wish or sense it it appropriate. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Thank you's are weird.


4. Thank You Notes

Sometimes they are a good idea. Sometimes not. They don't guarantee you a job offer. And if you forget to send one? Don't sweat it - it doesn't mean you won't get the job, trust me on that one. You don't screw up your chances based on whether or not you remembered to send off the thank you note. A thank you note is no more or less than an opportunity to put your name and skills back into the employers head after they've seen a lot of candidates. They are also considered polite, but most employers? I've found don't give a shit. Human Resources Managers do - but they don't hire you, they screen you.

IF they decided against you when you interviewed - the thank you note - no matter how pretty and perfect - won't get you the job. Like it or not - it is all about the interview.
And while the thank you might be a good opportunity to reiterate skills or push your interest - maybe bring something they overlooked, since you can't read the minds of your interviewers/employers - you won't know for sure.

Based on my own experience? They are a nicety but mean diddly. Most of the jobs I've gotten - I never sent a thank you note. Wasn't entirely intentional - just got the job too quickly or I didn't care about it. The one's I sent thank you notes to? Well, they did occasionally tell me I didn't get the job.

I'm not saying not to send one. It's a good idea. But you don't have to be anal or fancy about it. An email will surfice. Most people prefer email. Again depends on the job, the company, and who is interviewing you - and your own resources. But not sending a thank you on nice stationary is NOT, I repeat is NOT going to cost you a job. Remember they are looking for someone to solve a problem.

Again - there are people who believe and swear by thank you notes. Remember RULE # 1 - what works for so and so may not work for you. I got jobs without sending them. And lost jobs that I sent really nice ones to.



5. After the Interview is Over....

How do you know you got the job? Or if you did well at the interview?

You don't. You can't tell. I mean it - there is no way on earth that you can know how well the interview went. If you have a recruiter - they can usually try and find out for you but even their hands are somewhat tied in this regard. I've had interviews I thought went amazingly well. And I never heard back. And I've had interviews I thought went horridly and did hear back and did get a job offer.

What I know for certain? They have the power until they offer the job to you - then you have the power - you can say no, which isn't as great a feeling as one would think.

That said - after a certain period time has lasped and you have not heard back from the employer, it is a safe bet that you did not get it. Rule of Thumb Number 2 - The Employer is in the Power seat. They do not have to call you after the interview. They don't have to email or mail you. They don't have to follow the rules of etiguet. They can pretend you never existed. The only power you have is to accept or turn down a job - that's it.

Employers aren't nice. They don't care about you. All they care about is solving their problem. And they have a hour interview and a resume to determine whether or not you can do it better than anyone else. Sometimes they'll do more than one interview to figure it out.

So, if three weeks have passed and you haven't heard anything? Hate to break the news to you, but it is more than likely you did not get the job. There are some rare cases in which that is not true - but those are usually because they offered it to someone else and that person turned it down, or didn't pass the security/background check. I got a job once because of that scenario. But the jobs I've gotten or were offered to me? I got the call two to five days later, at the most. I never had to wait more than a week. And that was for two incredibly slow organizations.

Do yourself a favor - if they don't call you back within a week - send a thank you or follow-up asking for status. If no news after two weeks? Give up on them. Do not waste another moment of your time dreaming or stressing about that job. They aren't worth it.

The worse thing about job hunting is the roller coaster ride. The getting your hopes up - thinking you have finally landed that dream job - only to have it yanked from you with little notice. It hurts like the dickens. Then, of course, you have to get back on the coaster and go through the whole thing all over again.

It goes like this - hunt jobs - find one you like-apply/send resume - get interview - prepare for interview - go on interview - get excited about job, tell folks you may have it -send thank you - wait for response, lose job, tell folks you didn't get it - have to endure their response and try not to berate yourself or over-analyze the reasons you didn't, because you have to do it all over again. And you'll probably exaggerate everything you thought you did wrong.



6. What should you say to someone hunting a job who has just lost an opportunity?

Unfortunately there isn't much you can say. A hug works. A box of chocolats. Flowers. A nice card. A joke. But do not, I repeat do not offer advice about job hunting or try to share your own horror stories.

If you have to say something? Try the following:

I'm sorry. I completely sympathize and wish I could do something to help. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better?

or

You are wonderful. Give yourself a treat for me. And I know the next one is just around that corner.

Or

Do something to take their mind off of it.

(When I was unemployed and job hunting - a good friend took me to movies and out to dinner and focused our discussions on tv and media. He distracted me. And my online friends would send me gifts - tapes, books, cds, or invite me to meet them if they were in the city - where they'd buy or find a cheap meal for us. This worked best.)

Don't say - oh, you'll find something. Or I went through that and I found a job, so will you. They may hit you. Keep in mind Rule number 1 - what works for you won't work for someone else. And yes I know that contradicts all the stuff I said above - but hey I'm partly writing this for me. ;-)


7. Recruiters.

Recruiters, depending on the recruiter, can be really useful and a great resource in certain fields - they can also be a pain in the neck. My field - contract administration? Most of the jobs are handled by recruiters and about 50% of the interviews I went on were via a recruiter. The best piece of advice I can give regarding recruiters is that no two recruiters are alike. Some are amazing, some are insane, some you'd like to beat over the head with a stick, and some you wonder how they got this far. A good recruiter can be your best bud when it comes to job hunting. Paving the way with the organization. Checking back with them. Handling the gnarly leg work. And coaching you for the interview. They'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know about it. A bad recruiter will send you on an interview for a job which you have no experience in and no zip about - because they haven't asked the right questions. A really bad one - won't listen to your needs and stress you out. Ditch those. Some recruiters insist on meeting you. The best one's that I've had don't. Be wary of the scam artists - they are out there - ran across at least one. Do a check on them. Get them to give you a business number you can call back.



Lastly, when it comes to job-hunting the most important thing to remember is not to give up. Consider job-hunting a bit like climbing a cliff or Mt. Everest. It is an endurance test. It requires persistence. Stamina. And hard work. It is harder than any job you'll ever have and the pay is non-existent. People treat job-hunters like shit, particularly unemployed job-hunters. Never quit a job without another in place unless you have no other choice. If you do? Make sure you have temp work or consulting lined up and can handle the lack of health care benefits. Also do not let others tell you who you are. The hardest part? Staying positive. It is also unfortunately the most important. Do whatever you need to do to make sure you can stay positive.

The best piece of advice I was ever given regarding jobs and job-hunting, was from a lovely woman named Boringuen Gallo - she said : "Do not define yourself by your job or what you do. It's not who you are."