I'll offer the caveat that I think an author can get away with anything if the writing's good enough. I've certainly enjoyed books or shows that should put me off but don't because they do it so well. That said - as a riff on your #2, something that really bugs me is loss of reader agency, when we're told and expected to feel a certain way or draw conclusions about characters' actions that absolutely have to be the way the author intended or the story's universe won't work. Like say the series 24 where Jack was constantly put in situations where he just had to torture someone and his actions were always supposed to be admirable while anyone who opposed him was clearly shown to be wrong and punished for it. Or another Jack on Lost who we kept being told was a natural leader yet whose decisions always worked out badly. See also Angel constantly called a champion - which the show to its credit later mocked and subverted but I got the feeling at the time they wanted us to believe.